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rejection


Rejection is part and parcel of being an artist. What's interesting to me is that it always somehow hits me dead centre on my solar plexus no matter how I brace myself for it. It is just difficult. Even though I cognitively know that my work just doesn't 'fit' the curatorial framework and is therefore not a personal rejection, on an emotional level it does feel personal. It doesn't help denying it. Those are my true feelings. They linger within me and I have been wondering about ways in which to acknowledge rather than deny them.

Why does it hurt? Why does it matter? Personally I think it is because of part of me - my energy - is connected to what has been rejected. By energy I mean that part of me which has become part of what has been created. Creation is energy in action, so it makes sense that trying to make peace with the rejection on a cognitive level cannot work, or at least not for me.

My entry point has therefore to be on an energy level. This means that I need to bypass thinking, much in the same way that I do automated gestural drawing. Rather, I need to open myself to a wider sense of existence where faith lies in what is not known or seen. Trusting that what is happening - the rejection of my artwork - is part of a greater plan, a plan invisible to me right at this very moment. Trusting the spiritual net that holds me in place. Trusting that just because I can't see ahead into the future doesn't make this a rejection necessarily, but possibly an opportunity for later. Feeling and knowing that I can rest my rejection in the holding space of Creation.

And simply to keep working and doing what I do with purpose, intention and with a spirit of deep inquiry.

#rejection #artrejection #energy #creationisenergy #energyofcreation #Creation #emotion

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2020 / Sonya Rademeyer        ©Sonya Rademeyer. All rights reserved.

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